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To find success at dating, on the Internet or anywhere else, we must possess an almost foolish willingness to fail. That’s the real secret “average-looking” women know: Unreturned advances aren’t the end of the story.

We can console ourselves with the knowledge that dating sites are marketplaces filled with choice and opportunity, and when faced with infinite choices, you’re less likely to choose.

My eye color isn’t interesting, and my hair is always feral.

I’m not ugly, but I don’t have much beauty privilege (and make no mistake, beauty privilege yields tangible rewards). “I don’t have to.” [Go ahead, ladies, make the first move.

In case you were wondering, being unapologetically “ordinary” has implications beyond online dating.

It’s essentially the reason Google started hiring outside of the Ivy League: People who weren’t bred to think they can’t be wrong have an easier time failing with dignity and poise.

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