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Some even worry their spouse may harm him or herself.Battered women may stay out of fear of retaliation should they leave.They may people-please or sacrifice their needs, interests, and friends, and then build resentments toward their partner.The way out may not require leaving the relationship. Develop a support system and become more independent and assertive.The consequence is that people feel trapped or “on the fence” and racked with ambivalence.On one hand they crave freedom and independence; on the other hand, they want the security of a relationship – even a bad one.For spouses married a number of years, their identity may be as a “husband” or “wife” – a “provider” or “homemaker.” The loneliness experienced upon divorce is tinged with feeling lost. This also may be significant for a noncustodial parent, for whom parenting is a major source of self-esteem. They left home or their college roommate for a marriage or romantic partner.

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His ambivalence made him so distressed, he died before she did!

Homemakers fear being self-supporting or single moms, and breadwinners dread paying support and seeing their assets divided.

Often spouses fear feeling shamed of leaving a “failed” marriage.

Whereas women tend to have girlfriends in whom they confide and are usually closer with their parents, traditionally, men focus on work, but disregard their emotional needs and rely exclusively on their wife for support.

Yet, both men and women often neglect developing individual interests.

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