She looks intimidating

If there is one phrase I'm tired of men dropping, it's, “You're intimidating."Before I jump up on my soapbox and make myself even more "intimidating," let me write a disclaimer: This article is not intended for the woman you are too afraid to approach.

I can't fix the mean girl who blows you off at the bar or the not-so-mean girl you just said has “resting bitch face (RBF).” (Also, I'm pretty sure my brain-on-fire-and-therefore-deep-in-thought face does not mean I'm a bitch, so please stop using “RBF").

I'm talking about this bizarre open conversation that happens at one of two points in a relationship: You somehow turn “you're intimidating” into an opening line.

Why, yes, you now have my attention because I'm now curious about your psyche.

She knows who she is and what she wants out of life. They command — never demand — attention, and they do it with mesmerizing grace and style. If you were a fly on the wall for our girls' nights, our one-on-one conversations, you would immediately lose all intimidation. The same girl you're too afraid to talk to starts each morning with a kitchen dance party.

The same woman you find intimidating is also really good at making the same raunchy jokes as you are. She's clumsy and messy, can “man” a BBQ, yells at the TV for her team, enjoys downtime on the couch and eating junk food. Just her, the dog, a cup of coffee and the Top 40 getting down with her wet hair and makeup-free face.

It can, and the same woman who intimidates you is likely intimidated by you, and for all the same reasons. I can only speak for myself here, but I imagine it applies to others, too. Independent would love nothing more than a man who can give my independence a rest at times and take the lead.

So now, the two of you are just wasting time and talent. It's also important that I differentiate between “slightly intimidating” and forced change (abuse). I think this realization comes with age, but after years of fighting to prove myself professionally, spending my days making decisions from the hip and being the office Morale Officer, there is something incredibly relaxing and enjoyable about being able to turn down the volume on my independence.

The person who slightly intimidates you — because you admire her character, work ethic, strength, satire, step, drive, passion, etc.She's been through more than you can imagine and somehow, she came out with her head held high and a smile that's brighter than sunshine. Otherwise someone else will, and all you will have is a Facebook timeline full of their awesome love story.She is exactly the type of woman you want on your arm because he can hold her own. #Sorry She's Not Sorry Stop here if you're done growing.The world is full of “good catches” and natural born leaders. Please stop mistaking my not needing you for me not you.These people have a hard time settling down because they want to be pushed and challenged, but they don't think it can mutually exist with love. The fact that I have all that going on and still want to make you my priority person should speak volumes.

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